ON THE SOFA: Can You Afford Your Friends?

I will never forget the pastor in a Brooklyn church who uttered the words: “Your friends are God’s apology for your family.” At some point in our childhood we come across people whom we deem fit to allow into our space because they keep us comfortable or make us comfortable. They take the role of the absent or non-existent sibling as we make our way through kindergarten or elementary school. Friendship at this stage is managed by joy markers. We often laugh together, fight together, play together and snack together. This remains the case through about the junior year of … Continue reading ON THE SOFA: Can You Afford Your Friends?

ON THE SOFA: Need is Undefeated

Let me preface this revelation by saying; if you ever want face the highest amount of temptation make a commitment. From relationships to religion. I recently was moved to reaffirming my Christian faith and some of my most vulnerable foibles were heavily exploited by temptation. Truth be told, I lost a lot of battles. At times I wondered if I was actually in the right faith practice especially when the temptation would weigh on me like an invisible yet palpable weight. I would then submit myself to such condemnation at my inconsistency. The memories of sins rush in from as … Continue reading ON THE SOFA: Need is Undefeated

Sticky post

Xulaima on the Sofa: When we say Happiness, Do we mean JOY?

Do you know what it means to feel joy? When was the last time you felt it? Did it come with a memory or was it just a feeling? In that memory, is the accompaniment (person, place or thing) still accessible to you at this moment if you were willing? Now take that same memory and ask this question: At that time in your life when this feeling occurred were you also happy? Uhoh! Hold up. Where is this going? So, happiness in my view, comes with some level of coherence or alignment whereby we see or experience more than … Continue reading Xulaima on the Sofa: When we say Happiness, Do we mean JOY?