I will never forget the pastor in a Brooklyn church who uttered the words: “Your friends are God’s apology for your family.” At some point in our childhood we come across people whom we deem fit to allow into our space because they keep us comfortable or make us comfortable. They take the role of the absent or non-existent sibling as we make our way through kindergarten or elementary school. Friendship at this stage is managed by joy markers. We often laugh together, fight together, play together and snack together. This remains the case through about the junior year of … Continue reading ON THE SOFA: Can You Afford Your Friends?
Before I begin let me just say what a joy that was. To hop onto Instagram and WhatsApp and all the usual contacts I have been used to seeing in my feed just frozen. Felt like the first week of the lockdown in 2020 when we were told we would have to work from home. The joy I felt knowing I would not be listening to annoying complaints of certain coworkers whom I had allowed to turn me into their daily confessional. Well, I must admit I did the same so, the moral corrosion was mutual. But back to Facebook. … Continue reading ON THE SOFA: Facebook Shutdown; Personal Opening
If your parents were not your parents, would you have wanted to know them? If your siblings were not your siblings, would they have been your friends? Let’s take this further, if your kids were not your kids, would you … Continue reading ON THE SOFA: Family; Friends or Foe?
Do you know what it means to feel joy? When was the last time you felt it? Did it come with a memory or was it just a feeling? In that memory, is the accompaniment (person, place or thing) still accessible to you at this moment if you were willing? Now take that same memory and ask this question: At that time in your life when this feeling occurred were you also happy? Uhoh! Hold up. Where is this going? So, happiness in my view, comes with some level of coherence or alignment whereby we see or experience more than … Continue reading Xulaima on the Sofa: When we say Happiness, Do we mean JOY?
When Kobe was drafted into the NBA, I was in my fourth year of secondary school in Sacred Heart College. I played on the basketball team. I was no star. I eventually became known mostly for rebounds and shot-blocking, “Rodman” as my teammates would sometimes blurt out alluding to the then reigning rebound king Dennis Rodman of the Chicago Bulls. I did not count my stats; so, I cannot say exactly how effective I was other than the nickname bestowed. At the time, as much as I enjoyed playing basketball, it seemed to me a profession I would never attain … Continue reading Kobe Bryant: An Influence My Shadow Remembers