ON THE SOFA: Need is Undefeated

Let me preface this revelation by saying; if you ever want face the highest amount of temptation make a commitment. From relationships to religion. I recently was moved to reaffirming my Christian faith and some of my most vulnerable foibles were heavily exploited by temptation. Truth be told, I lost a lot of battles. At times I wondered if I was actually in the right faith practice especially when the temptation would weigh on me like an invisible yet palpable weight. I would then submit myself to such condemnation at my inconsistency. The memories of sins rush in from as … Continue reading ON THE SOFA: Need is Undefeated

ON THE SOFA: Anger – The Flame Without Fumes

There is an old saying – I think it was the Buddha – which goes; “Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” or better yet another one from the Book of James in the New Testament – “The anger of man does not bring about God’s righteousness.” Okay those were two sayings. Where am I going with this? I just discovered a very insidious way in which anger affects my emotional and spiritual journey and I thought I would like to share. I am an avid journaler (if that’s a word) and every now and … Continue reading ON THE SOFA: Anger – The Flame Without Fumes

ON THE SOFA: Facebook Shutdown; Personal Opening

Before I begin let me just say what a joy that was. To hop onto Instagram and WhatsApp and all the usual contacts I have been used to seeing in my feed just frozen. Felt like the first week of the lockdown in 2020 when we were told we would have to work from home. The joy I felt knowing I would not be listening to annoying complaints of certain coworkers whom I had allowed to turn me into their daily confessional. Well, I must admit I did the same so, the moral corrosion was mutual. But back to Facebook. … Continue reading ON THE SOFA: Facebook Shutdown; Personal Opening

Sticky post

Xulaima on the Sofa: When we say Happiness, Do we mean JOY?

Do you know what it means to feel joy? When was the last time you felt it? Did it come with a memory or was it just a feeling? In that memory, is the accompaniment (person, place or thing) still accessible to you at this moment if you were willing? Now take that same memory and ask this question: At that time in your life when this feeling occurred were you also happy? Uhoh! Hold up. Where is this going? So, happiness in my view, comes with some level of coherence or alignment whereby we see or experience more than … Continue reading Xulaima on the Sofa: When we say Happiness, Do we mean JOY?

On the Sofa: Growing Up Last and A Generation Apart

Respect: A very healthy tenet in the relationships among family. Often taught to us by our parents who instill in us the practice of respecting them. Then comes the practice of respecting other grown-ups around us. The fundamental understanding is that it is part of our survival. Or so I was taught. “Respect me or I will kill you!” It was usually just a beating but the point of the beating was to set on course the fear of death. Let me back track. I grew up in a Cameroonian household as the youngest of eight siblings and… cousins. Here … Continue reading On the Sofa: Growing Up Last and A Generation Apart

Conquest: A Martial Take on Racism

The experience of racism by the Black American and the African is, to be honest, an effect of CONQUEST. We lived or had civilisations that were attacked, conquered and later exploited. We were forcefully subjected to a position in civilization by forces that had no respect for our culture, morals or faith. Most of us today live in an assimilated society, whether on African soil, Asia, Europe or the United States. We learn, pray and trade in languages, scriptures and currencies that we had to acquire. Much of where our culture prevails among others it has been stolen, repackaged and … Continue reading Conquest: A Martial Take on Racism

Kobe Bryant: An Influence My Shadow Remembers

When Kobe was drafted into the NBA, I was in fourth year of secondary school in Sacred Heart College. I played on the basketball team. I was no star. I eventually became known mostly for rebounds and shot-blocking, “Rodman” as my teammates would sometimes blurt out alluding to the then reigning rebound king Dennis Rodman of the Chicago Bulls. I did not count my stats; so, I cannot say exactly how effective I was other than the nickname bestowed. At the time, as much as I enjoyed playing basketball, it seemed to me a profession I would never attain for … Continue reading Kobe Bryant: An Influence My Shadow Remembers

Racism: The American Custom

Maybe racism is the AMERICAN CUSTOM. Like cock-fighting in Mexico, Polygamy in Traditional African society, Shark fins in Japan, Dog meat in China, Monkey brain eating in … Somewhere. Maybe it is custom I must survive but one I may never truly understand. How else do I explain two successive presidents descendants of immigrants who won their platforms on such core divisive sentiments as “anti-racial bias” and flat out “racist recklessness” while both seeming rather immune to the reverberations of their proclamations. Well… not both of them. My question is… have we become so empowered, enamored, engrossed, consumed by the … Continue reading Racism: The American Custom