ON THE SOFA: Anger – The Flame Without Fumes

There is an old saying – I think it was the Buddha – which goes; “Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” or better yet another one from the Book of James in the New Testament – “The anger of man does not bring about God’s righteousness.” Okay those were two sayings. Where am I going with this? I just discovered a very insidious way in which anger affects my emotional and spiritual journey and I thought I would like to share. I am an avid journaler (if that’s a word) and every now and … Continue reading ON THE SOFA: Anger – The Flame Without Fumes

ON THE SOFA: Facebook Shutdown; Personal Opening

Before I begin let me just say what a joy that was. To hop onto Instagram and WhatsApp and all the usual contacts I have been used to seeing in my feed just frozen. Felt like the first week of the lockdown in 2020 when we were told we would have to work from home. The joy I felt knowing I would not be listening to annoying complaints of certain coworkers whom I had allowed to turn me into their daily confessional. Well, I must admit I did the same so, the moral corrosion was mutual. But back to Facebook. … Continue reading ON THE SOFA: Facebook Shutdown; Personal Opening

Sticky post

Xulaima on the Sofa: When we say Happiness, Do we mean JOY?

Do you know what it means to feel joy? When was the last time you felt it? Did it come with a memory or was it just a feeling? In that memory, is the accompaniment (person, place or thing) still accessible to you at this moment if you were willing? Now take that same memory and ask this question: At that time in your life when this feeling occurred were you also happy? Uhoh! Hold up. Where is this going? So, happiness in my view, comes with some level of coherence or alignment whereby we see or experience more than … Continue reading Xulaima on the Sofa: When we say Happiness, Do we mean JOY?

On the Sofa: Growing Up Last and A Generation Apart

Respect: A very healthy tenet in the relationships among family. Often taught to us by our parents who instill in us the practice of respecting them. Then comes the practice of respecting other grown-ups around us. The fundamental understanding is that it is part of our survival. Or so I was taught. “Respect me or I will kill you!” It was usually just a beating but the point of the beating was to set on course the fear of death. Let me back track. I grew up in a Cameroonian household as the youngest of eight siblings and… cousins. Here … Continue reading On the Sofa: Growing Up Last and A Generation Apart